Never Enough
by Pikeru's Angel
Summary: He was never good enough, never perfect enough. He couldn't meet their high standards for the famous Darkdoom child... Rated T for self-harm. Just before Overlord Protocol.


**A/N: First fic for something other than Artemis Fowl. 'Bout time, right? And yes, I am rather sure that there will be OOCness.**

He tried, he really did, but it never seemed to be good enough.

His teacher's would shake their heads in disappointment when he answered wrong on a question his father would have surely gotten right. His fellow students would stare at him in shock when he though he wasn't looking, as though thinking to themselves, _that's the son of the famous Diaboulus Darkdoom? No, it couldn't be. There's no way…_ before shaking their heads and returning to whatever it was they had been doing. Even his so-called friends seemed to stare at him in disgust whenever he turned around. No matter what he did, he wasn't good enough. Would he ever be?

So Nigel tried the only release he could think of: he started cutting.

It was during breakfast and lunch usually, when all the other students enjoyed their free time, chatting up with friends in the cafeteria and such. No one ever noticed he was missing from the group, not that he expected them to.

It was painful at first, but after that first little streak of blood streaked down to his palm everything felt right. The pressure seemed to life off his shoulders, the constant strain to be perfect dissipating for a few, glorious moments, and all was right with the world. He doubted anyone would ever find out. He just sort of blended in with the scenery, and had never really joined in conversation much anyway.

So he started missing meals. He'd always had a small appetite, eating like a bird even before going to H.I.V.E.. Breakfast and lunch were taken out of his schedule entirely, being replaced by time in the bathroom with some sort of sharp object, and he barely ate dinner. He didn't think anyone noticed when he started getting even thinner than before, how his uniform started to hang off his more and more skeletal frame. They did, but said nothing, dismissing it as imagination.

Except for Otto.

Otto noticed every little change in their quiet friend, from missing meals to being even more detached and far away. How Nigel occasionally started to sway when standing, as though about to faint, before catching himself. And, more than anything, he noticed how he eyed his knife. Almost with a look of longing, wishing he could use it. For what, Otto had an idea, but said nothing about the subject to the others. He needed proof of what was happening before he could confront his fellow Alpha about it.

That proof came about a week after Otto started taking more interest in Darkdoom's habits.

It was later in the day, though not quite around the time of dinner, and Otto had been waiting in one of the various corridors for Nigel, hoping to follow him without the other boy's knowledge back to his room. It was usually around this time he'd come by this way.

Then he had spotted him. Nigel nervously walked along, avoiding the other students that glided past him at all cost. The black Alpha uniform which had fit perfectly the day he got it now hung off his thin frame, making him appear more skeletal than Otto hoped he actually was. He was swaying more than usual, and from his current distance Otto does not notice the dark circles around his eyes, which, though prominent against his now gaunt completion, is still hard to see from a distance of more than ten feet, especially behind the thick glasses.

Nigel passed him leaning against the wall and Otto starts to follow, easily getting lost in the sea of white, black, blue, and grey. No one notices the two Alpha's going against the stream, and one of the two Alpha's doesn't notice the other is following him, too focused up in trying to stay conscious and upright, though very nearly failing several times. Each of those several times Otto nearly runs up to catch the small, bald boy before he falls, but stops himself as he sees Darkdoom lean against a wall or something to that effect before stumbling onward.

By the time they're halfway to the Nigel's room and well away from a large number of students, Otto is more than worried – he's absolutely terrified.

Without the movement of other people to unintentionally hide behind Otto can see every movement Nigel makes, and it doesn't look good. The swaying is much more pronounced than it was before and Nigel looks as though it's a very real possibility that he could keel over at any moment, which only makes Otto worry more.

And then, the swaying stops. Nigel stops moving all together, actually, freezing in his place so abruptly Otto very nearly topples into him. He makes a small groaning sound before his knees give out from underneath him, sending him on a crash course to the floor. Otto rushed forward in an attempt to catch his friend before his head hits the ground, but to no avail. The boy hits the ground with a sickening _thump_, though, in retrospect, it's better than something more like a crack.

"Oh my…" Otto trailed off, not being able to talk through the lump in his throat as he kneels down to check Nigel's pulse, just in case. It is weak and slightly slower than what would be normal, but it's better than nothing.

As Otto begins to pick up his unconscious classmate he is dimly aware of several sets of footsteps behind him, though takes no notice until one of them finally speaks.

"What-what happened?" Wing hardly stutters –actually, he _never_ stutters- but the sight of seeing the white haired teen in front of him carrying one of the few people within their little circle must be enough to have him at a loss for words, at least temporarily until he gets his bearings.

Otto turned around to see the shocked face of Laura along with the mildly surprised one of Wing, which is actually saying quite a lot considering the mask the Asian boy puts up nearly never falters in the slightest. Maybe they'd noticed more than he'd originally thought…

Without saying a word, Otto turns sharply on his heel, not wanting to explain at the moment to his friends. He needs a bit of time to think and, more importantly, needs to get Nigel back to his room. Well, maybe not his room, Otto's room would have been preferred, since it was closer.

To keep the questions at bay for a bit he says a distracted 'I'll explain later' over his shoulder, and rushes off to his 'cell'. The passed out teen in his arms does nothing to slow his pace down, which inwardly worries him to no end.


End file.
